Thursday, October 02, 2014

For What It's Worth

Something went wrong with my body last night and triggered a big question in my head, which I'm pretty not sure what caused it. It could be either my stomach kept on growling 'cause I hadn't eaten since morning or my mind had played tricks due to my recent loneliness -  as I couldn't find any single friend to accompany me having a fine dinner. 
Well, whatever the reason was, a question demands an answer. So, I started asking my closest friends this question:

"How do you know that something is worth fighting for?"

I realized that the question sounds cheesy. To my surprise, it turned out that each friend of mine had their different answer.
At first, I meant to ask them with a question that had a wide significance, like something related to their career, relationship, pets, or anything that they think is worth fighting for. However, most likely they gave a straight answer which involved with their relationship.

The first answer I get said that she will fight for something until the end, gets bored, and finds another thing that more worth fighting for.
A tough fighter indeed.

The second answer I get was almost satisfied my curiosity. She said that she knows something worth fighting for when she can sense the feeling between them is mutual. 
She got a point. Why risk anything, if you know that someone you don't like doesn't like you at all? Well, at least a little sign from her/him will spark your light, right?
A strong warrior princess.

The third answer I get said that you know something worth fighting for if you already experience and go through it by yourself. 
But what if you still don't know, is it worth fighting or not after you confront it? 
"Then walk away", she said. Leave that troublesome matter that you had been through behind. After all, you never know something or someone is precious to you until they're gone.
Hmm, a fine wise wizard.

Lastly, the fourth and final answer I had for this question, that my kind of question is intangible. The answer cannot be quantified because my best person is not quantify-able. 

Suddenly her answer tickled my mind and we had a long chat about this. She told me a story about one of her colleges whose marriage only last for a month simply because they're in a rush and couldn't clearly see "the signs".

At the end of our chat, she asked me a question, "What if it turns out that one of your exes is someone worth fighting for?

"Well, I think none of my exes is worth fighting for. Not because of their flaw or something, but just because I feel something is not right with us," a straight answer that came right out of my mouth.

"THAT'S IT! THERE'S YOUR ANSWER!", her silent scream has broken my anxiety. 

"Huh? I don't get it..?"

"You don't quantify, right? You just know. That's how you know that someone is worth fighting for. ... You just know"

A bright smile suddenly appeared on my face. The answer I've been looking for turned out lies within myself. I always believe in every question or doubt we had, we actually already had the answer to it. We just need someone to indulge ourselves that the answer is right.
But that time, it seemed that I have failed to recognize my own answer.

You just know.

You just know something is right when the time comes. Its like the universe will conspire with you to connect the dots that spread through the sky and lead your path to the bright side. All you have to do is finding the right keys which are patience and passion.

A fine answer from my dear brilliant lecturer friend managed to conclude all of the answers to my troublesome question of the night.

So, do you have someone or something worth fighting for? Well, I do now.

Bookmark and Share

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Million Years

After a million years of fear.
For a search of one heart that I dear.
A glimpse of hope suddenly appear.
Like a light of heaven that is trying to interfere.

She came with a heart of no shame.
But fragile like a glass that never been frame.
Though her wanderer soul cannot be tamed.
Just like her burning thought that cannot be blamed.

The gaze of her eyes lies eternal peace.
As her smile froze my time like a broken timepiece.
Oh, how I imagine the softness of her lips takes my mind release.
Yet her voice keeps on serenades such a lovely masterpiece.

She shows me how to care, for I just merely a former misanthrope.
But why she still keep her heart in a sealed envelope?
If only she allow me to untie her from that tangled rope.
Or should I wait for another million years of hope?

Bookmark and Share

Wednesday, September 17, 2014


Didn't you know you have a beautiful garden inside your eyes?

A place of sanctuary that can calm my nerves down. 
A place to begin all of our amazing journey soon to be. 
A place that I could rest my mind and call it home.

And what's a beautiful garden without an enchanting pond that shows in your smile.

A striking fountain that can easily swipe and melt the tip of an iceberg. 
A calm water ripple that reminds me of hope and dreams to conquer the world.
A gentle stream that can penetrate and unlock the deepest level of my heart.

Then suddenly a question pop up in my mind...

With over three point five billion women in this world, why it has to be you?

Why I can't find the beauty of a garden before in someone else's eyes?
Why I can't admire the sparkling fountain overflowing in someone else's smile?
Why has it to be you, whom imprisoned me inside your garden of Eden?

And why you had to throw away the key and made this garden become a dark hall of emptiness since you left me without a single word to say?


Bookmark and Share


"The February-born shall find
Sincerity and peace of mind,
Freedom from passion and from care,

If they an amethyst will wear."
—Gregorian Birthstone Poems

Dari awal blog ini dibuat yaitu tahun 2010 ke tahun 2014 itu terhitung jarak waktu yang cukup lama. Entah kenapa tiba-tiba gue ada hasrat untuk menulis lagi. Meskipun gue pada awalnya nggak pede buat menuangkan isi pikiran gue ke dalam tulisan (karena nggak tau juga gimana cara menulis yang baik dan benar), tapi gue nekat aja buat blog ini.

Setelah 3 tahun vakum, ada suatu kejadian yang bikin gue stress kalo uneg-uneg gue nggak gue keluarin, akhirnya gue melampiaskan dalam bentuk tulisan di sini yang sepertinya itu jadi trigger gue buat nulis lagi. Dan di bulan Mei lalu, waktu gue jalan-jalan ke Jogja, gue mampir ke Gramedia dan nggak sengaja lihat ada buku Nulis Itu Dipraktekin karya Tim Wesfix, dan langsung gue beli. 

....meskipun butuh empat bulan hari ini gue bacanya sih.

Di awal buku itu ada kutipan dari seorang pejuang revolusioner sekaligus penyair, Jose Marti; "Setiap orang setidaknya harus menanam sebatang pohon, memiliki anak atau menulis sebuah buku".
Meski gue jauh dari kepikiran untuk menulis sebuah buku, tapi ide untuk menghasilkan sebuah karya tulis itu jadi motivasi tersendiri untuk membuat sesuatu yang bisa dinikmati orang lain, selain desain-desain arsitektural gue.
Selain itu, gue juga terinspirasi dari kutipan salah satu arsitek favorit gue, Frank Lloyd Wright:

"Every great architect is - necessarily - a great poet. He must be a great original interpreter of his time, his day, his age." 

Memang kalau gue cermati, seni itu mempunyai akar yang sama dan saling berhubungan satu dengan yang lainnya. Mungkin keinginan untuk menulis ini salah satu bentuk untuk mengetahui batas kemampuan diri gue di bidang seni ini sampai mana.

Anyway, gue saking semangatnya mau menulis lagi, gue sampe bela-belain desain logo baru dan mindah nama blog gue dari ke 
Biar jadi satu rumpun sama blog kerjaan gue juga sih.. 

Oh, kalo mau lihat-lihat kerjaan gue, monggo lho main ke
#juwalan :p

Amethystos sendiri gue ambil dari kata amethyst yang kebetulan adalah batu kelahiran gue sebagai seorang Aquarian. Pas gue browsing untuk lebih tau arti amethyst itu sendiri, gue malah menemukan istilah amethystos dari bahasa Yunani yang artinya kurang lebih adalah obat penawar mabuk.

Jadi kalau gue mendeskripsikan, blog gue ini adalah obat dari segala mabuk kegalauan hidup gue. *halah*

Jadi, beginilah tulisan perdana gue untuk merayakan kelahiran kembali blog gue yang telah mati suri selama empat tahun. Semoga ini bukan sekedar antusias sekejap gue semata, dan semoga ke depannya bisa menghasilkan tulisan-tulisan yang lain. 

Amin. :)

Bookmark and Share

Saturday, September 13, 2014


Word oh word keep tickling in my brain.
Hold my senses that I couldn't contain.
Flood of hope rushing through my vein.
Fold the past of a hundred pain.

Winter breeze the first smile of her.
Spring fill my heart with laughter.
Summer returns with a memory alter.

Autumn hope could be my life saviour.

Time goes by with her past of gray.
Patience to hear her tales day by day.
Pleased me when she asked for a pathway.
As we laugh about our game of wordplay.

All is well until that day comes.
The day when my tongue is numbs.
For her already choose what her becomes.
And I can only sing my silent hums.

Is it wrong to deny what I need?
Is it too late to offer my deed?
Is it a shame to admit my greed?
Or is just it my foolishness that mislead?

Autumn is when leaves are falling.

Falling like the heart that is breaking.
Have no regret for all my heart I have loving.
Till the day comes when she accept my ring.


Michael: "My father is no different than any other powerful man. Any man who’s responsible for other people, like a senator or a president."
Kay: "You know how naïve you sound?"
Michael: Why?"
Kay: "Senators and presidents don't have men killed."
Michael: "Who’s being naïve, Kay?"

(The Godfather, 1972).

Bookmark and Share


Let me show you how these thousands of enchanting butterflies happily dancing and tingling inside my stomach. 
Let me take you to the darkest room to show you my fear of losing you every time I can't feel your presence nearby. 
Let me take you to the deepest ocean to show you how I need you like my lungs hopelessly need the air to fill inside. 

I love you since the day your eyes captured my heart. 
I love you every time your smile melt every inch of my freezing skin.
I love you when you laugh like no one is watching. 
I love you every time your mesmerizing voice echoes in my mind.

I love you like the first time I ever feel what love is. much.

Bookmark and Share